


Childhood Freedom

by ratwith2heads



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Cursed Jaskier | Dandelion, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, mom yennefer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratwith2heads/pseuds/ratwith2heads
Summary: Weeks after the mountain Jaskier is cursed to become a seven-year-old child, hijinks ensue.alt title: jask is a baby? yeah sounds goodUNDER SOME MAINTENANCE LMAO
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 26
Kudos: 267





	1. unfortunate discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for deciding to read my fic!! here are some things you need to know
> 
> 1\. my timeline might be SUPER wonky just comment and ill maybe fix it 
> 
> 2\. This is mostly based off the Netflix show so sorry about that i literally cannot read
> 
> 3\. jaskiers dad is awful so please dont read if that kind of stuff triggers you
> 
> also i have no idea what a comma is so i just put it everywhere so uhhhh

For the first time in her life, Yennefer found herself somewhere stable.

Months after the mountain, Geralt had (somehow) tracked her down and begged her to come with him to Kaer Morhen to train his child surprise. As much as Yennefer didn't want to see or talk or be around Geralt ever again, she knew how much he had to need something for him to ask for it. 

So after a healthy serving of the cold shoulder, she went with him.

During their training, Yennefer found she quite liked Cirilla. Yennefer feared becoming the type of magical guidance that she herself received. She resented the cold mercilessness of Tissaia's teaching, it shaped her into someone jealous and cruel. But Ciri was far from where Yen was when she first started magic. The princess was firey and headstrong, though lacked the amount of patience that was required for honing her gift. That would have to come with time.

Yennefer finally felt content. Yeah, she was living with Geralt and kind of doing him a huge favor, but it didn't feel like she was wistfully following him around anymore. This was on her terms, not some silly djinn's. She also felt a kind of motherly kinship to Ciri, and no longer longed to have one of her own. She hadn't seen any of Geralt's bard, Jaskier, but she figured there must have been some sort of falling out between them. Because one, she had never seen the Witcher without him and two, he seemed to bristle and look like a kicked puppy anytime anyone mentioned the bard's name. The balance of the group's dynamic was off without Jas, but Yennefer never say that she missed him. 

Everything was comfortable and safe and set on a clear path, then "it" started happening. 

She called it an "it" because even with her vast magical knowledge, she had no idea what "it" was. "It" made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her stomach queasy. "It" felt like someone was watching you from afar but you couldn't see them, or like something really bad was going to happen. 

"It" began very suddenly one afternoon and from thereafter was a constant in her life for weeks. The feeling would come and go throughout the day until she figured out that the feeling was based on what side of the keep that she was on. She didn't understand why until she decided to follow the direction of the feeling and felt it grow stronger. What was she a fucking compass?

She finally decided to put Ciri's training on hold so that she could find whoever was causing this and ask them _if they would mind shutting up please._

So she left with a hug from Ciri and a promise to Geralt that she would return. Thankfully her journey didn't leave Kaedwen, she wound up in a city called Ban Glean. "It" felt so strong she wanted to rip her hair out and itch her skin away. She could barely sit still, Yennefer felt like a small child. 

She asked the locals if they had seen anything strange with no luck. That was until a group of teenagers directed her to the cottage on the riverside. They told her a cranky sorceress lived there and if anything had happened it was probably "that bitch". Yennefer knew better than to trust a bunch of self-righteous children, but she decided that she had no choice and that if she had to deal with this anymore she might explode into a purple sexy pile of ash. 

So she walked to the "cranky sorceress"'s cottage hoping that this would get solved very quickly. Yennefer walked on the dirt road that had led her out of town and stumbled across a small thatch roof cottage with a garden and windmill in the back. Hopefully, there would be no trouble with this woman. Not to mention, Yennefer was a cranky sorceress herself. 

There was traditional tacky "witch" decor about the place, dried herbs hung up over the front window, and an ornate wind chime with pretty beads that lit up with the sun. The familiar scent of sage and river water hung in the air. A sign with the word "OPEN" written crudely in red letters hung on the front door. Yennefer knocked. 

A big friendly-looking woman opened the door. 

"Ah! Well hello there!" the woman exclaimed with a very heavy accent, "You're a very pretty one aren't cha?" 

The woman had frizzy ginger hair and bright rosy cheeks. Everything about her seemed to be large and rounded, her nose, her fingers, her eyes. She seemed to exude kindness and the smell of gingerbread. She would remind her of a mother if Yennefer had any idea what a mother was supposed to be. 

Yennefer thanked the woman and followed her into the cottage. 

The interior smelled strongly of various potion ingredients and miscellaneous baking. They entered into some sort of storefront, there were crystals and faux love potions and bottles and jars of herbs. 

"The town's people come here to get me to read their palms or make their dearest love them back. I don't think you're just some townsperson, are you?" The woman said as she took her place behind the counter. She leaned her elbows on the wooden countertop and gave Yennefer a look like she was about to tell her some sort of secret. 

Trying not to reveal too much (if any) information, Yennefer replied, "No." 

"Would you like to buy something?" A slow faux smile spread across the witch's face like butter. 

"No, I would actually just like some conversation." 

"Aye," The woman smiled at her with a glint of mischief in her eye like she understood, "I just took some cakes out of the oven, would you like to join me for tea?" 

Yennefer nodded and the woman opened the door behind the counter and gestured for Yennefer to follow her. The door opened to a living area with a shabby looking table. She joined the woman in sitting while the woman bit into a cake. 

"So rude of me," the woman said, "My name is Aurelia." She slid the cakes across the table to Yennefer. 

She didn't take one, "Yennefer."

"Ah! I think I've heard of you!," Aurelia exclaimed, cake crumbs flying out of her mouth, "You're quite the mage!"

Yennefer just nodded because, yes, she was quite the mage. 

"What brings you here then?"

She was interrupted by the sound of a door opening in the next room. 

"Ah finally," Aurelia said with a huff, "Boy! Come in here!." There was a bit of shuffling and then the door to the living area opened to reveal a young boy.

Yennefer made it her business not to know any small boys, they were impulsive and unruly and unpleasant. This boy though was eerily familiar in a way she couldn't quite put her finger on. She squinted at the child, he had a head full of dark curly hair that was much too long and spilled over his forehead and into his eyes. He kept fussing with his dirty fingernails and playing with the strings on his peasant blouse. The thing that struck him though, was his eyes. They were bright blue, she could tell she had seen them before. 

"Boy!," Aurelia's kind facade was unceremoniously ripped away, "Ask the lady if she would like some tea would you?!"

All of the little respect that she had for this witch was gone, how could anyone talk to a child like that?

"Mm sorry miss," the boys said sheepishly, "would you like some tea, my lady?" Yennefer thought that was a little too royal-sounding for a farm boy, plus his accent was clearly posh. Something was very wrong here.

"That would be lovely dear," The boy seemed delighted to be called something other than just "boy". He scampered off into the kitchen.

"Got yourself a butler, do you?" Yennefer was trying really hard not to be too mean to Aurelia, she still needed some information. Then she could be as mean as she wanted.

"A butler? Gods no, he's barely a good farmhand," she laughed, "A butler."

"Are you related?"

This made Aurelia laugh more, "No, and thank the gods for that. I found him running along the river, he was barely alive the thing. I took 'em in cause I needed help with the garden. But he's barely of any use." 

_Maybe because he's SEVEN YEARS OLD! YOU-_

Yennefer fake-laughed politely, and the boy returned with a tray that had two steamy cups on it. 

"Thank you," Yennefer smiled at him and he beamed at her, his smile freaked her out even more. Where had she seen this kid before? "What's your name, love?"

The boy was so excited to be asked a question he almost dropped the tray he was holding, "Julian Alfred Pancratz! But I don't like that name, I'd rather be called what my nanny calls me which is Jaskier, she said it means something but I don't remember. If I was ever a pirate-"

"Julian was enough, boy" Aurelia said raising her hand. Julian looked like he had been slapped. 

Yennefer didn't notice.

_Jaskier._

Her blood ran cold, how had she not realized. The hair, the smile, the _eyes_. He was a spitting image of the bard. So why was he a child? 

"Sorry for talking too much lady," he said to Yennefer, his head bowed. 

_Viscount's son._

"Oh you're fine my dear," Julian smiled again, "Do you think you could fetch me some sugar?"

Once Julian was gone, Yennefer dropped her nice act. She slammed her teacup on the table almost shattering the china into pieces and Aurelia let out a strangled gasp.

Yen kept her voice calm and tried to communicate her burning rage through her eyes. It worked. 

"That's not a boy at all. Is it?"

Aurelia looked like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, "Why, I have no idea what you're-"

"Julian Alfred Pancratz, Son of the Viscount of Lettenhove. Jaskier. The last time I saw him he was fretting about turning 30, so do tell me," Aurelia gulped, "why the fuck is he seven years old?"

"I- uh- he came to my shop a few weeks ago," she stuttered out, "He was piss drunk and soaking wet, he had fallen in the river. I let him stay for the night and he- I-"

Yennefer slammed her fists on the table. Her patience was growing very thin, "Spit it out!"

"I could feel his sorrow, he was so miserable I thought it'd be easier to-"

"Easier?!"

"Well- uh- yes," she explained, "I couldn't keep him like _that_ and I certainly couldn't let him leave, I mean, he was beside himself!"

"So you turned him into a child?!" Yennefer was bewildered. 

Aurelia nodded quickly. Her entire face was bright red and her expression read as a combination of terrified and a scolded child. 

When Yennefer thought about it, she had no idea what Aurelia used. She had never heard of, much less could undo, a spell that would turn someone into a child. 

"How do you break it?" She demanded. 

Aurelia mumbled something.

"What?!"

"You- you can't."

_Fuck! This is really really bad!_

"What do you mean you can't"

Aurelia swallowed, "Well- uh- the victim has to feel like being an adult again."

_Double fuck! Jaskier didn't want to be an adult when he was one._

Yennefer swallowed whatever swear word she was going to exclaim when Julian walked in, sugar in hand. 

"Here you go, miss lady!" Julian smiled at her, she smiled back. He stood there for a beat and then looked at Aurelia and quickly left. 

Yennefer took a deep breath, "You know that I won't allow you to keep him here."

Aurelia nodded shakingly and muttered, "Who is going to help me with the garden?"

She was not meant to hear that, but she did, "I don't know! Hire someone you fucking weirdo!"

The witch's face scrunched up and she let out an offended huff. 

"Julian dear!" Yennefer called. 

Jaskier ran into the living room like he had been sitting right by the door. 

"You're going to come to stay with me, would you like that?" As much as she didn't want to frighten the child, she knew that Geralt would never forgive her if she left him there. 

The boy's eyes lit up, "Yes! I really would!" he withdrew some of his excitement as if he was trying to spare Aurelia's feelings, "I mean, I would like that miss lady."

"My name's Yennefer love." Julian nodded enthusiastically, "Now go and get your things, yeah?"

Yennefer looked at Aurelia again and she seemed to wither under her gaze, "If I need to come back here I will literally kill you, and that's a promise."

The shaking woman nodded.

Julian returned with his things a moment later and they headed out. Yennefer could have easily opened a portal, but she kind of wanted to assess the situation first. She had many questions. Clearly, he didn't remember anything from his adulthood, if he had he would have run for the hills at the mere sight of her. 

The boy's possessions included a bag that Yennefer recognized as Jaskier's, and then the bard's lute. When Yen offered to carry them, Julian let her carry the instrument, but not the bag. The nearly-30 Jaskier she knew would have had a ball at the sight of her carrying his prized lute. Yennefer had hardly noticed with all the excitement but the feeling had stopped nagging at her. Maybe she really was a compass. But why had she been led to Jaskier?

They walked side-by-side in silence. Little-Jaskier (Julian?) was skipping next to her, then he seemed to catch himself doing it and stopped. Yennefer offered her hand to him and he took it, his hand was so small.

Yennefer knew Jaskier to be someone that never seemed to shut up (much to Geralt's "dismay") so the silence was very odd. She had prepared herself for constant childish yammering but there was just...nothing. She could tell from their brief conversation before that he liked to talk, so where did it go? She decided that she would prompt him, just like before.

"Julian, dear, what were you going to say about being a pirate before?"

"OH YEAH! I was gonna say that if I was a pirate that my pirate name would be Jaskier! That's what my nanny calls me and I like it! It's much better than silly old Julian, also it's a way better pirate name. But I don't know what would be the rest."

"The rest?"

"The rest silly! My pirate name can't just be Jaskier! There needs to be an end part. Like Roberts the horrible or Bardolf of the sea! I need a "the" part. But I don't know what my "the" part is."

"Oh, I'm sure you will figure it out little songbird."

They fell into another silence. Maybe he just didn't want to talk to her?

"Miss Yennefer?" ugh, 'miss Yennefer' even Ciri didn't call her that .

"Yes?"

"May I ask a question please?"

_Uhhhh...what?_

"Of course, Julian."

"Where are we going?"

It suddenly occurred to her that she hadn't told him anything, he must have been so confused. So why didn't he ask her sooner?

"Where going to stay with some of my friends, they're very kind I promise," Yennefer explained, "The lady you were staying with was a very mean lady, so I am rescuing you."

"Oh, okay, you're right she was a real meanie," Jaskier scrunched his nose, "but also thank you so much for re- res-queing me!"

"You're very welcome," She smiled at him, "but I must tell you, you don't have to ask permission to ask me a question you know."

"I don't?" Jaskier scrunched his nose even further like this was a concept he didn't think was possible.

"Of course not, you can ask me anything you like," 

Yennefer knew that she shouldn't have asked this next question. It was an invasion of the grown-up bard's privacy, but her curiosity got the best of her.

"Who told you you have to do that Julian, was it your nanny?"

"No my nanny's the best nicest person in the world, promise," Jaskier said shaking his head, "I have to ask because of what daddy says."

_Jaskier having daddy issues actually makes a lot of sense._

"What does daddy say?"

"He says that good boys," Jaskier thought for a second and then furrowed his brow as he recited, "should be seen and not heard."

Yennefer decided that was enough talking.

***

They arrived at Kaer Morhen via portal, which Jaskier thought was very cool. He looked around the large room with wide excited eyes.

Yennafer could hear excited footsteps down the hallway which she knew was Cirilla, probably alerted by the portals sound, everyone else living there wouldn't run unless a monster was near. 

Julian grabbed at her robe and hid behind her at the sound of an approaching stranger. If you had asked Yennefer what she thought the bard would have been like as a child _shy_ was probably the last thing she would have said. 

"Yenna!" Ciri said as she entered the main room, "Did you find the source?!"

"I did,"

"Welcome back Yennefer," Vesemir said as he followed Ciri around the corner, with Geralt by his side. _Fuck_ she thought she would have more time to figure out how to tell him that his bard that he was probably in love with was now seven. 

"Well, what is it?" Ciri asked, practically jumping up and down. 

Yennefer looked back at Julian, who looked very nervous. She took his little hand and coaxed him out into the open.

The three stared at her like she had grown a second head, well she did if you count a child as a second head. 

"It's a child?" Geralt almost whispered like it was a bad word.

"Yes, and he will be staying with us until I figure out what I need to figure out." She said very matter-a-factly, "Ciri will you please take him to the chamber next to yours."

Julian was very hesitant to let go of Yen's hand, she knelt down to his level and cupped his cheeks, "I promise Ciri is very nice, I'll be right out here and I will check on you as soon as I'm done." He nodded and took Ciri's hand and she led him down a long hallway. 

"What's wrong with him?" Geralt asked, ever graceful.

"I will explain, it's going to be long and painful, but I will explain."

"Whose child is he?" Vesemir asked.

"Well," She looked at Geralt, "He's your's"

Geralt turned so white Yennefer thought he was going to collapse right then and there.


	2. geralt's kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geralt's a himbo, i dont make the rules i just abide by them
> 
> also i have no gauge on how old children are sooo i have no idea how seven year olds act so im just gonna make it up I've decided

Yeah, that was probably mean. But to her excuse, Geralt had magically made her fall in love with him so, karma's a bitch. 

"He's- he's- mine?" Geralt wheezed out with a great effort.

"Well, not really," the Witcher had never looked so relieved in his life, "He's yours in a way."

As Geralt wiped the sweat from his brow, Vesemir looked at her in a way that only wise old men can, "What do you mean Yennefer?"

Yennefer realized that she could no longer dance around anymore, "I'm just gonna cut to the chase, I'm not kidding and yes I am sure about this."

"Sure about what?!" Geralt asked.

"The boy is your bard, Geralt."

Silence. Geralt's face went blank, the wheels in his head began to turn. 

Vesemir looked at the younger witcher with bewilderment, "You have a bard?" like that was the thing that needed to be focused on. 

"But Jas is like, an adult?" Geralt said, "that boy was so small!"

"I am well aware of that, obviously," Yennefer was amazed by Geralt every day, and not in a good way, "He's been cursed."

Another beat of silence. 

"Cursed to be a child?"

"No, he was cursed to be something different, the boy part is totally unrelated," When Geralt looked like he might have believed her for a second she reaffirmed, "Yes he's cursed to be a child."

"But, why?" Vesemir asked.

"Apparently someone," She sent a withering glare in Geralt's direction, "upset him so much that he drunkenly stumbled upon a witch's cottage outside of Ban Glean. The witch took pity upon him and turned him into a child. He's been working as a farmhand for weeks."

Geralt's question went unasked but Yennefer answered it anyway. 

"He doesn't remember anything other than the memories he already had at seven."

"Do you know how to break it?" Vesemir asked, finally someone asking real questions. 

"Yes but it's a bit tricky," Yen explained, "He has to want to be an adult again, but that's going to take a while I think so I'm gonna research and try to find an alternative."

Geralt and Vesemir nodded at the same time, like wolf, like cub. 

"I don't think Jaskier had a very good childhood," Yennefer made sure not to overstep the boundaries that adult-Jaskier would want, "So please thread a little lightly. Just try not to upset the child."

They nodded together again. Geralt still seemed to be recovering from the whiplash that came with _hey uh what the fuck my best friend is a baby now_.

And with that, she swept away down the hall to find Julian and explain a few things to Ciri.

***

Julian Alfred Pancratz was seven and three-quarters years old, the best pretend player in the whole world, and had no idea what had been happening for the last few weeks. 

His life had a strict schedule. Wake up and play with his nanny, tutoring (yuck), lunch with daddy and mamma, more tutoring, dinner with daddy and mamma, and then his nanny would sing him a song and tell him a story and put him to bed. Then one day it just wasn't like that anymore.

He woke up in a bed that he knew wasn't his because it wasn't his favorite color (which was red by the way). The blanket was itchy and smelled like dust and he didn't like it. Then the lady noticed that he was awake; She never told him her name so Julian just called her lady. The lady was very mean and loud, she told him that he was lucky that he was alive and that she had saved him and that now he had to live there now. She ate a lot of cakes but he never got to eat any, not like he was able to at home though. She didn't cut his hair so it was all floppy and he didn't get to wear fancy clothes anymore. Julian didn't want to live there but at least he could run around, he wasn't allowed to run around at home. She still didn't like it when he talked too much but that made sense because no adult ever liked it when Julian talked. 

She made him do all sorts of things that weren't even fun and then got mad cause he did them wrong. This upset Julian because he was just bad at them because he had never done them before, they never played these types of games at home. 

He stayed there for what seemed like forever, it was kind of fun because sometimes the lady would give him sweets or let him play in the river, but he missed his nanny and his mamma. He missed bedtime stories and playing in the stables. He didn't miss the parties though, those were long and stupid and boring and daddy always seemed to get mad at him after. 

Then the lady with the pretty purple eyes came. Julian was frightened of her when he first saw her. She had long dark hair and wore a long dark dress and once his daddy told him never to trust women like that. But she was so nice to him, nicer than any adult other than his nanny had been. Her eyes were dark and shiny and pretty and she looked at him like he was special.

Then the purple lady asked him if he wanted to go with her, and of course, he did.

The weird thing about the lady (which he now knew was named Yennefer which was such a cool name, way better than Julian) was that she wanted to hear him talk. She asked him questions and listened to his answer. Not even his mamma did that, especially not his daddy. Daddy would sometimes even hit Julian on the cheek if he talked too much. But Yennefer even told him that he didn't even have to ask to speak which made him even more excited to live with her and her friends. Because sometimes he would forget to ask and then daddy would get really really mad and he didn't want Yennefer to be mad at him.

Yennefer opened this super cool doorway out of thin air, which made Julian kind of jealous cause he could only pretend. She took his hand and they walked through and suddenly they were in a totally different place. The entire place was made out of stone, it was very big and kind of cold. It reminded him of home.

A girl with really pretty blonde hair had led him down a hallway to find his room. He really didn't want to leave Yennefer, but Yen said that the girl was very nice and Julian trusted her. 

"My name is Cirilla, but you can call me Ciri," The girl said as they walked, "What's your name?"

"My name's Julian," He only gave her his first name because that's all Ciri gave, "Can I ask a question please?"

"Yes of course you can!" _Wow!_ he thought, _they really are nice!_

"Who were those two grumpy men that were talking to Miss Yennefer?" Julian was very afraid of them, they were tall and strong and had stern faces. There were men like that at Julian's house sometimes but he wasn't allowed to talk to them. They always had shiny swords and yellow eyes like cats. Julian was definitely scared of them but also really really wanted to talk to them.

This made Ciri laugh, but Julian didn't understand why. He hadn't meant to be funny.

"That's Vesemir and Geralt," Ciri explained, "They're the witchers that live here, they may seem grumpy but I swear they're a bunch of puppy dogs inside." _Witcher!_ that's the word that Julian was thinking of. 

"My mamma says that witchers are bad," Julian thought out loud, "But if they're just puppy dogs they have to be good right?"

He looked at Ciri for approval, she nodded with a smile.

Julian might not understand why he's here, but he sure did like it a bunch more than home. Everyone smiled so much more.

***

Yennefer passed Ciri on the way to Julian's room, she hugged her and told her she would explain everything in due time, she just had to talk to Julian first. Ciri looked kind of disappointed that she had to wait but scampered off anyway. 

She opened the door to find Julian sitting on his bed holding Jaskier's bag. He broke into a grin and jumped off the bed to greet her.

"Miss Yennefer!" He exclaimed, hugging the bottom of her robes, "I missed you!"

"You missed me?" She asked as she lowered herself to his level, "We were only apart for a few minutes!"

He grinned a huge grin, "I know!"

"You know my songbird, you don't have to call me Miss Yennefer all the time."

"I don't?" Julian squinted his eyes and tilted his head like he genuinely had not thought of that before, "What should I call you then?"

"Anything you like!"

His eyes widened, "Anything I like!" He closed his eyes in deep thought, "I could even call you...Rusty SeaWolf feared pirate of the West!"

Yennefer chuckled, "Ciri likes to call me Yenna?"

"Yenna works too I think."

"Julian, I'm going to ask you something, you can say no if you want, okay?"

He nodded.

"Do you think I can look inside your bag?" Yennefer really didn't need to see inside his bag, but if there were any clue that would she could use it wouldn't hurt to check.

Julian looked very uncertain, he scrunched up his nose as if he was really mulling it over, "I guess you can," He said, "But you have to pinky swear that you won't take anything, okay?"

"Okay, I swear," Julian held out his pinky and Yennefer locked his with her's.

He climbed up on the bed and spilled the contents of the bag out over the quilt. Inside there was a small maroon journal, a quill and pot of ink, an extra set of Jaskier's clothes, extra lute strings, various women's rings, and a set of witcher's potions. Wow, it really was him wasn't it.

Yennefer picked up the notebook and flipped to one of the last pages, figuring it was some sort of songbook. She found no notes or lyrics, but she did find small cursive writing, and Geralt's name written several times as she scanned the paragraph that was written. She slammed the book shut when she realized that she had almost read the bard's diary. _Oh barf._ That was probably the last thing she would want to read. 

She looked up and found Julian staring at her expectantly like he was waiting for something to happen. 

"Thank you, dear, you can have your things back now," Yennefer pushed the bag towards him, "I'm going to go talk to the grown-ups some more okay? If you want I'm sure Ciri would love to play with you."

Julian shook his head eagerly and then rushed off to find her without a word.

Now was the hard part. Why was talking to children way easier than talking to grown adults?


	3. talking to adults

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ive already run out of ideas, brain empty

Yennefer, Vesemir, Geralt, and Ciri all sat together in the dining room. 

Vesemir sat at the head of the table, like he usually did, but was in no way the most important person there. Being at a loss for context, he really didn't know what to expect. He felt alone in that, for the other witchers that usually resided in the keep were away earning coin. He had not even known Geralt had a mage, nonetheless a bard. Geralt was always so quiet and serious growing up, he was a no-nonsense type, him traveling with a _bard_ made no sense to Vesemir. 

Geralt was still trying to wrap his head around everything. He had looked for Jaskier after the mountains, but couldn't find him. He went from pub to pub asking if a bard had performed there recently, always getting a "no" or a "why the fuck is there in a Witcher in my pub?" He even went to Oxenfurt to see if anyone had even heard from him recently. Everyone there was a little snotty and tightly-wound for Geralt's taste, he kind of had been expecting them all to be like Jas. A man with a permanent scowl and a top button that looked like it was strangling him told him that, "No one has heard from Jaskier in weeks," _fuck_. He had given up when he found Ciri, it made him feel bad but Geralt sort of distracted himself with her. 

And now he sat at a dining room table with his ex-lover, his father figure, and his child surprise ready to discuss why his former best friend was now a small boy instead of an adult. Geralt hated his life. 

He forgot his stoic demeanor at the dining-room door, he fiddled with the end of his black chemise and waiting anxiously for Yennefer to _start fucking talking_.

Yennefer did not want to start fucking talking. She buried her nose in an ancient spell book she found in the keep's library. When she told the others to meet her in the dining room, she did so because that's what she felt was expected of her, but now she had no idea what to say.

Ciri was just confused. 

Yen cleared her throat and started, "So, as you two know, and Ciri is learning now, that child is not actually a child-"

"Julian's not a child? What does that mean?" Ciri exclaimed.

She gave Ciri a look that meant, _are you sure you want to interrupt me young lady?_ and did not miss Geralt's grimace at 'Julian'. What, had he expected him to be born "Dandelion"?

"No, he's not actually a child. He's somewhere close to thirty," Ciri gaped at her, "He's actually a bard that use to travel with Geralt, then he went by the stage name, 'Jaskier'."

Geralt flinched at 'use to', for a man who prided himself on being emotionless he sure did read like a book, "So what happened to him?" Ciri asked.

"I would get to it if you would let me Cirilla," full name, not good, "The feeling I was getting led me right to him, he was living with this wretched hedgewitch. She had him working as a farm boy. I realized it was him when he told me his name."

Now it was Geralt's turn to uncharacteristically interrupt, "You knew his real name?"

"Well not really, I knew briefly of his past as a viscounts son but I didn't know his real name. I didn't need to, he told me Jaskier was the name he preferred, he said it would be his name if he were a pirate." Geralt nodded at that with a fond smile, _yuck_.

Finally, Vesemir spoke up, "Do you know what spell she used?"

"No I don't, it was foolish of me not to ask I was just so angry," oops, Yennefer forgot that she 'hated' the bard, "I just know how to break it, I'm trying to find it now to know if there's an easier way to break it. "Wanting to be an adult" is such a bullshit thing to have break a curse, no one really wants to be an adult."

They all nodded at that. 

"So, for now, he will stay here with us, until I find a way to break it or he breaks it himself. Then when he's an adult he can make his own decisions."

***

Geralt made a point not to engage with children.

If they were not initially terrified of him, which most were, they were always too wide-eyed and they asked him so many questions. Apparently being a functioning person in the world came with a step-by-step guide on how to treat children, especially what questions he _shouldn't_ answer. Once he got beat over the head by a mother whose child had asked him how many people he had killed. He just didn't get them so he chose to just not interact with them at all. 

But Jaskier...

He knew Jas like the back of his hand. 

He knew his favorite song, he knew his favorite color, he knew what type of song he liked writing best (which by the way, was different from the one he liked _performing_ the best), god's sake, he even knew what scent soup he used (chamomile).

Unlike what he liked to tell Jaskier, Geralt was fond of him. A little too fond, maybe. 

When they were apart in the winter, Geralt tended to fall into a slump. He liked to blame it on the weather. 

But trying to talk to _child_ Jaskier sort of sent Geralt into a crisis. 

Firstly, he didn't want to invade adult Jas's privacy. He knew that children sometimes revealed a little more than they should. 

Secondly, (this was a little childish) was that Geralt didn't know why Jas liked him when they were both adults. He feared the child version of Jaskier's opinion of him. Geralt has always been a bit soft and squishy when it came to the bard, so if the child version didn't like him it might, gods, crush him. 

He didn't have to think about it too much before he felt a small tug on his pant leg. Geralt swung around and was met by his greatest fear. 

The child cleared his throat, "Um, Mister Witcher, can I please ask you a question please?"

"Hmm."

Julian's face twisted up, "I can't tell if that is yes or no."

_Gods it really is him_ , "It means yes."

His face brightened, "Do you think that you could please cut my hair?"

Once Geralt looked at it he did notice that the child clearly needed a haircut, wasn't it Yennefer's job to be his parent? Why hadn't she done this sooner? 

"Why don't you ask Yennefer?" 

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I already asked her and she said that she was training with Ciri and she told me to tell you that she said that you have to do it," the child took a breath, "and Yenna also said that if you didn't do it she would be real mad at you."

_Oh Gods_. Geralt weighed his options, if he said yes he would have to talk to the child, if he said no Yennefer would probably lose her shit. Plus Julian could probably dish out some mean puppy eyes, Jaskier could. 

"Okay pup," Geralt conceded, "Follow me, yes?" 

Julian nodded enthusiastically. Geralt started off to the keep's washroom with the child trailing behind, once Julian caught up he wrapped his hand around Geralt's ring finger. 

Geralt got out the scissors and the hairbrush then patted his knee for Julian to sit. Julian scrambled up to his knee like a squirrel, Geralt started to gently work through the tangles and curls.

"Ciri says that you don't talk very much and that she wishes you would talk more," Julian said while swinging his legs back and forth.

Of course Ciri said that, "Hmm."

"Are you her dad?"

Geralt almost went with the easy option of just saying "yes" but he knew that Ciri would be more than upset if he did, "Not really, in a way though."

"Oh okay that makes sense," Julian paused, "My daddy is really quiet too."

He froze and took in a quick breath. Jaskier talked a lot about a lot of things while they traveled together. Geralt knew his entire romantic history, every silly fight he got into while in college, and late at night he would sometimes talk about the old nanny that gave him his stage name. 

But Jaskier talked about his father. If Jas was going to talk about it he wanted to earn it. 

"Are you okay?" Julian asked turning his head.

"Yes pup," Geralt said and moved his head back into place. 

Julian put a fingernail in his mouth, chewing his nails was a habit Jaskier could never kick. 

"My daddy is quiet but when he talks he's too loud," he said, "He yells in my ears when he's not being quiet."

The child turned around to fully face him, "But you are quiet and soft and you talk so gently. I really like to talk to you!" His eyes were wide and wild. 

Having never been told something like that before, Geralt didn't know how to react. So he settled with a simple smile. 

"Thank you Ja-Julian," The child smiled back, "Now I need you to turn around and be very still, I'm going to start cutting, okay?"

Julian turned around instantly and Geralt got out the scissors. 

As he cut, he saw more and more of the child's neck. It was covered in delicate freckles just like it was when Geralt met Jas in Posada. 

He was temporarily sent back, the bar the smell of beer his voice his legs _his smile_.

The way that when Geralt looked him in the eye Jas smelled of nothing but anticipation and jest. 

Geralt missed him so much that it ached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chap sowwy
> 
> geralt calling jaskier jas is the only thing keeping me going honestly


	4. everything falls apart for a second

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw!!!!!!! there will be mentions of child abuse and implied child sexual abuse in this chapter!!! stay safe please!!!!!

The keep's residence sort of fell into a steady routine. 

Things weren't that different from what they were before Julian's arrival: Ciri and Geralt would run drills in the morning, Yennefer would train her magically around midday, they would all eat together and then sit by the fire in the evenings. Little things did change though. Yennefer would search for the curse in the library, Ciri would play and try to keep up with Julian after her training was over, and Geralt would join them more frequently at the end of the day in the main room. That last one enthralled Ciri greatly, she had always tried to get Geralt to "hang out" with them more, she obviously didn't understand what had gone on with him and Yen. 

They all had gained more and more of Julian's trust. He didn't ask to speak anymore and didn't apologize as much. Julian's newfound carefree nature made Yennefer smile, she didn't seem to be the type of person that would like the sound of a child's laugh or little footsteps, but she sure was one. It was probably a bad thought but, if she couldn't fix little Julian she wouldn't mind keeping him around as a child. Yennefer quickly shoved that thought down though, she couldn't imagine what Geralt was feeling right now. 

Things changed though, swiftly and violently. 

One morning, Geralt was running Ciri through her daily drills in the garden, she was complaining as much as she usually did, and he heard a crash coming from inside. Usually, he would have just brushed it off and let Yennefer deal with it but today, he had a sickly foreboding feeling. Geralt told Ciri to keep doing what she was doing, even though he knew she wasn't going to and headed inside. 

It didn't take him long to find the source of the noise, little Julian was sitting under a table, next to a shattered vase. The vase was inconsequential, it wasn't something especially expensive or antique, what concerned Geralt was that Julian wasn't moving. For the entire time he had been staying with them he had never not been moving. He was a rambunctious child, he was always running around or fidgeting his hands or bouncing up and down on his chair. Julian didn't know calm it seemed, so the fact that he wasn't moving around struck Geralt as unnerving. 

As he got further, Geralt saw that he was moving. Little chest movements up and down and shaky hands. Julian was crying. 

Geralt wasn't an expert on emotions but he didn't understand why he would be so upset over a broken vase. He also didn't know how to deal with a crying child. 

He almost ran and found Yennefer. She was the one Julian was closest to, which Geralt thought would make Jas laugh until he cried when Jaskier was Jaskier again. _If Jaskier was ever Jaskier again_.

But something about the small sobs and hiccups made Geralt's nonexistent heart ache. He couldn't leave the child to cry one moment longer. 

When he approached the child and leaned down on his knees to get more on his level, Julian's head whipped up to greet him. His eyes were huge and red and his cheeks were flushed and tear-stained. If his expression didn't hurt Geralt enough, Julian reeked of pure fear. _Jaskier has never been scared of me before._

"Oh, don't cry," Geralt said as gently as he could muster, "What's wrong little songbird?"

Julian shook his head and stopped looking at him. Geralt brought his hand up to wipe away a stray tear, and Julian gasped and squirmed away from him. He looked at the child with surprise and the blue eyes filled with tears again.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Witcher!" Julian wailed, "I didn't mean to break it, I swear!" 

Geralt shook his head to challenge him but it was too late, Julian had gotten to his knees and started to pick up the stray pieces of glass leaving tiny cuts in his small hands. Not knowing what to do, he grabbed Julian's wrists and wretched him away from the danger. Julian wiggled away from him and knocked his head against a leg of the table. He fell back and covered his eyes with little blood-covered hands and started whispering a soft steady stream of, 

_please don't hurt me please don't hurt me please don't hurt me ple_

"Geralt?"

He hadn't known when Ciri had walked in but he was thanking the gods that she did.

"Go get Yennefer," Geralt said, not taking his eyes off the child. He heard Ciri sprint off. 

Geralt didn't feel soft or gentle anymore. Julian was as scared of him as he was scared of his father. Geralt suddenly felt very nauseous.

He didn't know how long it took for Yennefer to get there. He was too busy running over every time he had hit Jaskier and thought nothing of it. He thought about every flinch, he thought about every spike in fear when a drunk man had gotten to close to Jas in a pub, he thought about Valdo Marx he thought about every fake smile and the face he made when he talked about his nanny he thought about how he had left him on that mountain he left him all b **y himself and**

"What the _hell_ happened?" Yennefer shouted as she reached Julian, if he wasn't so emotionally wrecked Geralt probably would have laughed at her for trying to be intimidating while crawling under a table.

Geralt could only muster a shake of the head. Yennefer's look of rage turned to concern, no one probably seen Geralt like this in his life, well everyone but-

Yennefer seemed to say something to Ciri, but Geralt couldn't really tell. He felt a tug on his bicep and looked up at his child surprise, she was weeping too. Geralt didn't think of why, he just knew it was his fault. 

Ciri tugged him away as Yennefer rocked Julian back and forth and whispered small comforts into his ear. 

Geralt had never felt more useless. 

***

Yennefer impossibly managed to get the boy out from under the table. He was incoherently whispering apologies and shaking his head as Yennefer carried him to his bedroom. She gently laid him on the bed and rubbed his back as he pitifully cried. Yennefer wanted to hold him until he didn't hurt anymore but she was still a bit wary to touch him figuring that's what Geralt had tried to do.

Ciri arrived in the door frame looking uncertain, "I took Geralt to his room but he wouldn't say anything to me, what's going on, Yenna?" She had never heard Ciri speak so meekly before.

"Nothing for you to worry about Cirilla," Yennefer cringed at that, maybe now was not the time for full names, "Will you please bring me a basin of water, a rag, and some clean cloth, dear"

Cirilla took off without a word. 

"Julian, my sweet, can you look at me, dearest?" She said as quietly as possible. 

He lifted his head from his hands, his face was painted with two handprints of red. Julian's entire body was shaking.

"Oh my sweet songbird," Yennefer cupped his face, he flinched but then leaned into the touch, "Why are you so sad, huh?"

"I- uh- 'hick' broke the vase," He seemed to search her face for any ounce of anger, "and then Mr- uh- mr witcher was there and uh-"

"Was he angry?"

"No, but I- uh- I thought because I broke the vase.."

"You thought he would be angry because of the vase?"

Nod.

"Oh, darling, that was just a silly vase! Geralt was not upset at you at all. He was just concerned that you were so sad! No need to be so upset," Yennefer decided it was time to creep into some maybe dangerous territory, "Did- were your parents angry at you when you would break a vase?"

Another nod.

She wasn't creeping, she was full-on jumping the fence, Yennefer whispered, "What did they do when they were angry?"

"Daddy he would- he would 'hick' yell at me and say 'oh Julian you're so bad you're so god-d-damn lucky I need an heir' but it didn't make me feel lucky", Julian started to cry again, "sometimes he would get so mad that he would- he would-"

"Would he hurt you?"

One more nod.

Yennefer felt her blood boil and her face heat up with rage. The Viscount of Lettonhove was so "god damn lucky" that he was fucking dead. 

Julian leaned fully into Yennefer's hand, he spoke in a hushed tone, "Then he would send me to my room, and sometimes when it was all dark he would come in and get under my covers,"

He didn't say it, but she understood. It made Yennefer physically sick to her stomach.

Julian continued in an even quieter voice, "That was a secret though, I'm not supposed to tell anybody at all." 

She just stared at him for a second. Yennefer could never imagine what would go through someone's head for them to do that to a child. A _child_. Julian lifted his bloody hand to touch the one she held to his cheek. Yennefer realized that she hadn't responded.

Her voice was high and broken, "A secret uh- of course, dear." Julian seemed to calm with that. 

Like on cue Ciri entered with the things that Yennefer had asked. She instructed her to check on Geralt and she left once more. 

Yennefer cleaned the boy's face and hands and wrapped his wounds with the cloth. She tucked him into bed and told him to take a nap. Before she left, she brushed his brown curls away and kissed his forehead. 

Without a story or a song, Yennefer left him to sleep.

She closed his door, leaned up against it, slid down, and cried for the first time in years.


	5. geralt does it

Ciri found Geralt in the exact same position she had left him, sitting on the end of his bed with his head in his hands. She really didn't know what to do, she had never seen Geralt like this. He always seemed so strong. 

She sat next to him.

"Is he okay?" Geralt uttered.

Ciri was surprised to hear him speak, "Yes but he was still crying when I left. I just think he might be a little shaken up."

There was a brief moment of silence.

"You've never told me about Jaskier."

Geralt looked up at her, Ciri had never seen him look so old. 

"He was my best friend," he mumbled, "I never told him that though."

"What happened?"

"I- uh- wasn't the kindest to him and I left him on his own," Geralt looked like he might cry which probably frightened Ciri more than anything, "He was there when you became my child surprise you know. I didn't value him the way he should have been, he was just so good I thought I didn't deserve someone like that. He was a right pest sometimes but he was always so bright and so devoted. Jas just loves so easy and he- uh-"

"He sounds like he balances you right out."

Geralt shook with a small chuckle, "Yeah, he does. And- uh- he was never scared of me. Never once did I smell fear on him when he looked at me. No one had ever been like that before, not even Yen."

Ciri leaned over and rested her head on Geralt's shoulder, "Do you love him?" she whispered.

He didn't speak for a long time, "Hmm,'' he buried his head in his hands again, "but I've ruined that now haven't I?"

"If he really is like you say he is," Ciri said, "I'm sure he will forgive you. You might have to grovel a little bit though. "

Geralt laughed again and rested his head on top of hers.

"I hope we can bring him back," Geralt whispered.

"So do I," Ciri responded, she was being one hundred percent genuine. Geralt needed someone like that. 

***

At some point, Yennefer picked herself off the floor and moved herself to the kitchen. Her real mother only taught her how to do one thing and that was how to bake. In her decent into domestic life, Yen had picked up the habit of stress baking. If Ciri had had a certainly bad day of training, a plate of sweet rolls, if Geralt was being especially pigheaded, a tray of hand cakes. 

It was a very out of character thing for Yennefer to do, but she didn't seem to much that was in character lately. 

She got out all the ingredients and looked at them, observing them for a second, and then got to work. 

Yennefer didn't understand how she could not have known about Jaskier's father. Sure she knew about him, yes, she knew that he wasn't an especially good person, but she didn't seem to have connected the dots that _he_ was Jas's father. Her head spiraled down a road of every time she had ever been unkind to him, every time she had slighted him because of her jealousy, not thinking that he could have a past. She yanked her head out of that, for she knew it wouldn't help.

Jaskier loved attention, yes, but he would hate the pity. 

Halfway through the baking process, she heard tiny little patters running through the hall. She looked through the door frame to find Julian, with a huge smile, acting as if nothing had just happened at all. 

"Oh, hello dear," Yennefer greeted, "aren't you supposed to be napping right now?"

Julian suddenly looked very guilty, he looked at the ground, "well, yes but I wasn't very tired really."

"That's okay, would you like to help me bake?"

Julian nodded his head wildly and then ran to the table and reached his eyes over the top. Yennefer picked him up and let him sit on top of it. She tied the front of his hair back with a ribbon, his hair just grew too dang fast.

After a brief moment of silence of Julian closely watching her bake, he spoke again, "I'm sorry for making you sad, Yenna."

Yennefer whipped her head up, "No! Darling, you didn't make me sad I promise!"

"But you cried," suddenly, head down, his lap was very interesting. 

"Oh, dear," Yennefer touched his small knee, "I was sad for you, that's all."

"Why were you sad _for_ me then?" sass.

Yennefer paused for a second, "You know that no one here would ever hurt you right?"

"mmhmm,"

"Say it, please," Yennefer tilted his chin up so that he would meet her eyes. 

"No one here would ever hurt me."

She seemed very pleased that and she returned to her baking. 

"Even Geralt, I know that he seems very scary but he would never ever do anything that your father did to you, okay?"

He giggled, "I know the Geralt isn't scary I told him myself, he's soft just like my nanny."

Yen looked at him and laughed as well, he had never seemed more like himself than that moment. 

***

Things moved on after that day. 

It did seem like everyone was walking on eggshells even more than they had with Julian though. He didn't like that one bit. 

Yennefer finally found the spell, just to learn that there was no other cure and the hedgewitch had been telling the truth. Yennefer lamented over the fact that this was going to be way harder than she would want it to be. So they all in their different ways tried to nudge Julian in the direction of adulthood.

Yennefer told him all the things that he would be able to do when he was an adult- get married, travel, do anything he wanted to, etc. etc. Julian just stuck his tongue out at these, especially the one about "getting married". 

"Girls are yucky, Yenna!" (this offended Ciri greatly), Yennefer laughed though, at the sheer irony.

Ciri told him all the things they couldn't do as children, like go to the market by themselves or be the king. Julian said he didn't even like the market, but he thought being king would be nice. Not nice enough apparently, because he kept waking up as a boy.

Surprisingly, it was Geralt that did it. 

They were all sitting in the main room as the sunset. Geralt had chosen to sit with them as well, Yennefer and Ciri bickered over something fickle and Geralt sat and watched them. Vesemir sat in his chair, already asleep.

Julian wandered into the room a little while later, Geralt assumed he would take his place on Yennefer's lap but he didn't. He crawled next to Geralt and sat cross-legged right in front of him. 

"Mr. Witcher, will you please tell me a story?"

"Don't you want Yen to tell you a story?"

"No, I've heard all her stories, but I've never heard one of your's," Julian said with a broad smile. 

Geralt considered him for a second, Julian tilted his head in a way that made him knew there was no way out of this. 

"Oh, alright," Julian cheered and climbed onto Geralt's lap like he belonged there. 

Geralt told one of his less violent stories in fear of Yen's rath, it also just happened to be Jaskier's favorite. Julian listened to every bit with extreme focus even though he seemed like the type of child to not be able to sit still long enough. Geralt expected him to ask questions at least, but he remained silent with the occasional nod. Finally, he said something,

"So, even though she was a monster she still truly loved him? That's what broke the curse?"

"Yes, in the bruxa's last moments, all she wanted to do was get closer to him. This was a true act of love, so Nivellan turned back into a human man."

"Whoa," Julian stared off into nothing with wonder-filled eyes, "maybe love isn't that bad after all, huh."

Geralt chuckled, "Oh little lark, you're far too young for that don't you think? Even some grown adults don't know what love truly is."

Julian scrunched his face up and pondered that for a minute, "Can I have another story please?"

"Okay, here's a story of how a friend and I discovered a djinn!"

"A djinn?!"

The night moved on with a steady rhythm, Ciri and Yen stopped arguing and talked about nothing in particular. Geralt told Jaskier a few more stories and the boy (as much as he would deny it) started to get visibly tired. He started to yawn and his eyelids got heavy, Geralt carried him to bed and tucked him in for the first time.

Before he fell asleep, Yennefer sang him his song and kissed his forehead, not knowing that that would be the last time she would ever be able to do it.


	6. enter jaskier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH thanks 4 kudos and comments im such a whore for that sweet sweet attention baybEE

Jaskier woke up with a throbbing headache. 

It took him a moment to take in his surroundings. He was lying in a bed he didn't recognize in a room he didn't know, naked except for some underwear. _Thanks universe for at least granting me some dignity_. He wrapped a sheet around his shoulders and got out of bed. Discombobulated, he tripped on the sheet and fell to the ground. Lovely morning it was gonna be then. 

His bag and his lute were set on top of the chest at the end of the bed, so he wasn't in some weird jail. Great.

His second thought was that maybe he went home with someone, but Jaskier hadn't done that since...anyways. 

He looked around for his clothes at least but found nothing. He sat on the bed and stewed in his confusion and then tried and failed to remember the last 24 hours. That wasn't surprising though for Jaskier had a habit of getting blackout drunk. Every day.

"JULIAN!" a girl's voice called from outside the room. _Julian?_ Jaskier hadn't been called that since he was 17, he checked to make sure he didn't travel back in time to his teenage years, the small tattoo on his wrist affirmed that he in fact did not, "I heard you fall are you o-"

A girl with pale blonde hair entered the room but stopped in her tracks when she saw him. Her eyes almost popped out of her head and her mouth hung open. Jaskier suddenly felt like he probably shouldn't be there. He also felt very underdressed.

"Oh, uh, hello you small child you," Jas started, the girl's expression remained frozen, "erm, this might sound like a weird question but, you don't happen to know where I am, do you?"

There was a silence, Jas tilted his head in confusion and that seemed to snap the girl out of whatever trance he had put on her, "STAYRIGhtHEREILLBERIGHTBACK!" and she ran out of the room. 

Great, now he was really confused. Jaskier got up off the bed and grabbed his lute off the chest. It was unharmed (thankfully), so he strummed the strings just to make sure he was in real life. He started to play a small jaunty tune just to ground himself. 

Just a while later he heard voices out in the hall again.

"It's really him I swear!"

"If this is a joke young lady you're going to be in serious trouble," Jaskier had heard that voice before, Yennefer. _What the fuck is going on? Also why is she talking like a mother?_

Yennefer walked into the room, in all her sexy magic glory, confirming that yes, Jaskier had no idea what the hell was happening. 

She smiled at him for probably the first time since he had met her, "Jaskier, welcome back."

"Yennefer of Vengerberg, curse anyone since we last met?" Jaskier joked, "Also welcome back? What the hell does tha-"

All the air flushed out of his lungs as the last person he would ever expect to see again walked into the room. For maybe the first time in his life, Jaskier was left speechless. 

Geralt, staring at him with an indistinguishable expression. Of all the people Jas had called the love of his life, he was the only one it was true for. Ever since the mountain, Jas had regretted not fighting back, not saying something in his own defense. Even a bit of begging would have done, but he couldn't bear any more rejection. So he left and attempted to drown himself in sex and booze to avoid the heartache. It didn't work.

They locked eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Aside from the given shock, Geralt's eyes seemed just a bit sad. He looked older than the last time he had seen him, and even more than older he looked _tired_. 

Then all at once Geralt started towards him with such intent, Jaskier thought he was going to strike him. 

He collided with Jaskier with such power that it knocked the wind out of him. Geralt wrapped his arms around Jaskier's waist and nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck. After a second of embarrassing rigidness and arms that stuck in the air, Jas melted into the embrace. He set one arm around his neck and one hand started to stroke his hair. 

When the initial astonishment that was _oh my gods, Geralt is fucking hugging me what the hell do I do_ wore away Jaskier heard the soft words that Geralt was mumbling into his neck, 

_I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm sorry_

"Oh darling," Jaskier murmured into his ear, if not in his current situation he would have laughed at how quickly Yennefer ushered the small girl out of the room, "there's no need for all that, I forgave you the moment I left."

Geralt pulled back, "You did?"

Jaskier nodded.

"But, I- I was so-"

"Well," Jaskier suddenly felt very guilty, "I forgave, but I didn't really forget. I thought that I had lost you forever, you see. I couldn't play anything happy and no one likes a sappy bard, I got booed out of every pub I attempted to play at. So I succumbed, I guess. I just sort of wandered around with nowhere to land." 

"I regretted everything I said the moment you left."

"So did I." 

"But you didn't say anything?"

"Exactly, I didn't say anything! I just took off I should have stayed and we could have worked it out I just-"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Jas," The nickname sparked warmth in the pit of Jaskier's stomach, he'd forgotten how much he missed this, well missed him. 

They stared at each other for a second longer, Jaskier became hyper-aware of Geralt's hands that now rested right on his hips. 

"I've missed you," Geralt said with a fond crooked smile on his face. It was rare that Jaskier got to see the crack in his Witcher facade but every time he did he just fell further in love with him. 

"Oh, my witchery friend, I've missed you too you won't even believe," Jaskier said, "but I'm really gonna have to have you explain to me what the fuck happened."

***

Geralt gave Jaskier one of his black chemises and a pair of trousers that fit Geralt when he was a teenager. The shirt was way too big and hung off Jaskier's shoulders and covered his hands, he had to hold himself back from confessing his love at the sight of him. 

His shirt smelled like brandy and the forest and Jaskier had to will his face not to turn an embarrassing shade of pink.

Jaskier followed Geralt into a large room with a huge table in the center, he was still confused but he was a little less frightened. Yennefer sat at the head and the little girl sat to the right of her visibly shaking with excitement.

"You're sharing clothing now, huh?" Yennefer asked with a sly grin, "Shall we be expecting a happy announcement anytime soon?"

Geralt and Jas both turned red and refused to look at each other, "Enough fooling around, Yen," Geralt said after clearing his throat, "Besides he doesn't have any other clothing."

"Oh yes he does, there's some in his bag."

" _Why_ didn't you tell me that?"

"You were having that charming little hugging moment, I didn't know you hugged Ger-"

"Not to interrupt this little banter session the two of you have going on," Jaskier said, attempting to end whatever _that_ was, "But I have a few questions, they are, number one, what is going on? Number two, where am I? Number three, why am I here? Also, bonus question, who is that?" Jaskier pointed at Ciri who had been patiently waiting to be acknowledged. 

"Good questions bard, all good questions," Yennefer stood, "That is Cir-"

Before Yen could finish the girl bounced up out of her chair, "Cirilla Fiona Elen Rhiannon," She stuck out her hand, "Princess of Cintra."

"Princess of Cin-," Jaskier's head whipped around to face Geralt and mouthed, _Child surprise?_

After a small nod from Geralt, Jaskier took Ciri's hand and kissed her knuckles, "Charmed."

Yennefer rolled her eyes and with a huff, took her seat again, "Sit down bard, there is much to discuss."

"Bard? I thought you knew my name now."

"Nope forgot it already," Yennefer said, "Names aside, do you remember anything about the last few weeks?"

"Weeks? Uh, it's all a bit foggy I was a bit, well a lot-"

"Drunk?" Jaskier nodded, "Well a couple of weeks ago I found you living with a hedgewitch."

"A hedgewitch? I think I would remember that!"

"Well that's the thing, you wouldn't remember because - erm- something happened to you."

Jaskier didn't like the direction this was headed, "Something- happened?" he asked in a small voice.

"You had turned into a, well a-."

"What did I turn into?!!"

"A child."

All the color drained from Jaskier face. Why did the things that happened to him happen to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will probs be one more chapter but WHO KNOWS not me and im the author
> 
> edit: three months later, there will be another!!!!!


	7. NOT A CHAPTER JUST A DISCLAIMER SO SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> forgive me mom

ummmm..... hey..... how yall doin....

I have decided to go back and edit all the previous chapers,,,,,maybe add some scenes

and then continue the fic

hopefully :) lmao im so sorry


	8. jaskier and yen have a chat

"A- a what?!" Jaskier exclaimed.

Yennefer sighed, "A child, I'm sure you've heard of one," Geralt shot her a disapproving glare, she was normally so articulate and delicate, not with Jaskier apparently.

"So I was physically sent back in time to what, like when I was small? H-how?" He felt a bit faint, so he sat down.

"Seven to be exact," Yennefer explained looking at her nails, "I found you living with a hedgewitch outside of Ban Glean, you had been living there for a few weeks before I brought you here. You had to want to become an adult to turn back into one, which I guess child you did."

"Oh, uh, grand," Jaskier began to chew on his thumbnail.

"Oh do stop fussing with your nails, Julian," Yennefer said automatically like she had countless times before. 

Silence fell over the dining room. 

Yennefer looked up and found that she truly had messed up. Jaskier's face was stark white and his wide eyes bore into her. His eyebrows furrowed and formed an expression in between confusion and surprise and most importantly, **hurt**.

After a beat, Jaskier let out a deep breath and stood up. 

"Jaskier, I'm-"

"I'm going to lie down." Jaskier declared and then started to make his way out of the room. 

Geralt moved for the first time in what seemed like forever, "Jaskier," he called out with that tone he only used when he was super serious. 

"I'm fine," he disappeared behind the doorway, "this is just so fucking weird."

After his presence was gone completely, Geralt whipped around to face her. His face was too hard to read, and Yennefer was usually so good at it. 

Then, he left too, as he went he called for Ciri and the child ran after him. 

Yennefer sat at the table for a bit longer, going over the situation that just happened in her head over and over again. _How is this going to work?_ She thought. She didn't know. 

Jaskier was a child for almost 5 weeks and yet Yennefer had attached herself to him almost instantly. It was no secret that she had always longed for a child, and she had thought that Ciri had filled that role when they started training. But secretly she knew that Julian was the one that she was more affectionate towards. He liked her the best, he trusted her the most, he loved her. 

And now it was almost like he was dead. 

Yennefer knew that he wasn't, and that was such a silly thing to feel. But she felt it regardless. 

Julian was someone that she knew completely, she knew his favorite food, she knew his favorite animal, she knew that he wanted to be Geralt's friend soo bad but was just too shy to ask. 

But she didn't know Jaskier at all. 

She stood up quickly and suddenly, all the blood rushing to her head and making her vision blurry.

She didn't know Jaskier **at all**. When they had first met she automatically decided that she hated him. It was something about how he held himself, so youthful and naive, and also something about the way that Geralt would look at him. Like there wasn't another person in the world more important. 

Yennefer was going to do something that would have made her stomach turn years ago, fuck, weeks ago. She was going to talk to Jaskier and maybe even apologize. 

She ran her hands over her black robes, smoothing every crease and fold it had acquired sitting down and went off to find him. 

It wasn't hard, he had just gone back to Julian's room, she also could hear the slow melancholy song he was strumming on his lute.

He didn't notice her as she stood in the doorway, he had changed from Geralt's old pants to the ones in his bag, but kept on the black chemise. Geralt's shirt, sick. 

After a moment of dulcet strumming and light humming, she decided to make herself known. 

"I didn't really take you as someone who would like sad songs," Yennefer said, leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed over her torso.

Jaskier startled but recovered quickly, "Yeah, well, I haven't really played anything happy in a while."

Yennefer gave him a small smile and he scooted over on his bed. She took this as an invitation to sit by him, and she accepted it. 

The bard leaned against the headboard, "This is weird," he said, not looking at her but instead, his lute. 

"The whole child thing?"

He scoffed, "Well, that too. But I was talking about us, ya know, just sitting here together. Not throwing insults or snide remarks at each other."

Yennefer laughed, but in a way that he had never seen her laugh, completely free of any venom or malice, "Well if you think that that's over you're a fool. I'm just giving you a little break to recover."

Jaskier laughed back and then paused for a second. His eyes grew sad. 

"When I was a child," he cleared his throat, "Did I- did I- um did I talk about him at all?"

Both of them knew who he was talking about without any explanation. 

Yennefer looked him right in his eyes, the same eyes that she had been looking at for the past 5 weeks, "Yes, you did."

Jaskier let out a long sigh and looked down at his fingernails and started picking at them, "to just you or to Geralt?"

"I'm not completely sure, he wouldn't have told me if you had."

"Yeah, I know."

A silence settled between them. 

"I think you should talk to him," Yennefer said, timidly placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"I think so too," Jaskier buried his head in his hands, "I never thought I would see him again, to be honest."

"I don't mean to overstep, but, I don't think Geralt has never loved someone like you before. Um- not even me." With that Yennefer stood up and left.

Jaskier was left staring at the empty doorframe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this chapter is not good
> 
> im having some SERIOUS writers block and my motivation has left the station
> 
> anywayzzzzzz hopefully it will get better lolz ill probably edit it later when i feel better


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